From The Corner Of My Mind - The Past

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about the past. During this conversation he said to me "Wendell, as far as things go from your past, on your worst day you could only tie me". After this conversation I was thinking about that remark and how it applied to me and to my friend.

First of all, I now hold this friend in very high esteem. I have known this man for many years. If I was to guess, I would say I have known him for 20 plus years. I really only knew him by name and casual meetings at the local school sporting events, and meeting him around town. He and I had children the same ages through their school years, so I saw him and his wife many times over the years. During those years my perception of him wasn't the greatest either. I thought that he and his wife had the "Goody Two Shoes" status, something that I would never be able to fit in to. I had a friend that worked for him and hardly ever had anything positive to say about him, so immediately I was led to believe that he was an ass. I thought that he was very rough on the kids that he either coached or watched play. My children, other children and his own, he didn't exclude anyone. He wasn't mean or he didn't berate the children, he was just hard on them and wanted them to perform at a level that he knew they were capable of. I sometimes thought he let his actions and emotions get out of hand during that time.

During those same years I was setting/sitting in those same bleachers, at the same sporting events getting mad and worked up at the refs and coaches and basically acting like a jerk myself. I didn't act any different than he did and I had the very same feelings he did, probably just expressed in different ways.  I have had people come to me and tell me that back in the day, they thought I was "Goody Two Shoes" and thought that I acted too good to be their friend. They have told me that they used to laugh at me and think It was silly how I acted at my children's games.

He also confessed during our conversation things that he wasn't proud of in his past. I wasn't shocked, but a little surprised and I have spent the better part of the last twelve hours thinking about how I could have ever thought that he or his wife were ever any better different than me. Which led me to thinking about why I could ever think that about anyone. In the last two or three years I have gotten to see this person in a different light and have come to know him and his family for what I should have been seeing all along. His wife is a beautiful woman and a very caring and loving mother whose voice is a treasure from Heaven. Their children are talented and smart and on a road to a successful life, which is a direct reflection of their parents

This morning I have been dwelling on these thoughts and trying to go back and reflect on who I could have thought these same thoughts about over the years and who I could have had such strong feelings about, and just how wrong I could have been. The past is a wicked creature if you let it be. You can either learn from it, or let it drag you down. I choose to learn and move on, hoping that any mistakes become recognizable, so that I can use them to my advantage.

I need friends, and I need this friend. He has become sort of a mentor for me in the last few years, not only a spiritual mentor, but in life. He never ceases to amaze me how he thinks and his perception of life and the situations he has encountered are nothing short of amazing. I thank God every day for my friends.