Your daughter has a one year old son. Your daughter passes away and you become the caretaker and parent of the child to raise. The father of the child is in prison with a death sentence. He was a mass murderer, rapist and child molester. All were proven in a court of law.
As the child comes of age, and starts inquiring about his parents, how do you tell him about his father? Do you even tell him at all?
4 comments:
You have to tell them and you have to tell the truth. If not as they get older they will find the information they are looking for on their own. At least if it comes from you you can answer questions and help deal with the emotions that will come with that kind of news.
What you would say depends on the age they start asking questions. The child being your grandchild I am sure you would tell them all about your daughter so I am sure that they questions about daddy would start pretty early.
I would start with daddy had to go away. Later Daddy did some bad things and had to go away. Next would be yes Daddy is in jail he did some really bad things. Then come the questions of what he did. At some point before he is put to death you should talk to the child about the things he has done, how he was punished, and what is going to happen. By this time the child should be a teen ager (I would assume you would have this much time due to all the appeals that have to happen before death can be carried out). Even though he was such a bad man the child may want to ask him questions or even see him. I am not saying suggest a visit but the child should have a chance to ask before its too late.
You tell them to honest to god trust.
WHERE do you come up with these questions????
My answer: I would skirt the detailed issue by telling the child that the Sperm Donor was never a "Father," and to the contrary, was not a good person & thus needs to be in jail.
When the child is an Adult, and of researching age, then I'd have a detailed sit down discussion.
Having been told "expose" things as a kid, I know how the out-of-a-child's-control drama can confuse a growing mind.
It would entirely depend on the maturity level and emotional health of the particular child/young adult.
One day, he should know the truth from someone he loves. Secrets have power over us and just cause more lies/secrets...
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