Repost Worthy

Some of you may not click on any of the links over on the right, but Jarhead posted something yesterday that I thought was great and should be read by all. Yea, he wrote it all himself.

Thoughts On Change

Changes in our lives are inevitable. Some of them are happy changes and some are are sad. How are we emotional creatures supposed to handle these changes? Should we dwell upon our past mistakes? Surely that can't help us to move forward. I suppose that adapting to fluctuations in the daily rhythm of our lives is one of the most difficult things we humans do. We are, as a species, rather set in our ways. When we get set in our ways as we do, we expect things to happen in our time. We are selfish. We have a sense of entitlement. We crave instant gratification. When our lives swirl around us, we try to stomp it down and keep it safely trapped under our feet. Unfortunately, because of the nature of change ~ it has its own inflexible schedule ~ that is hardly ever the best way of dealing with things that we try in vain to control.

Time. We must submit to the one thing we have absolutely no control over. Again, I turn to Whitman for wisdom:

"Here or henceforward it is all the same to me, I accept Time absolutely."

I. Accept. Time. Absolutely. Time is the great arbiter of all disputes, troubles, conflicts, love and most of all, change. We must submit to its judgment for, as Whitman so aptly states, it is absolute and inflexible. Why would we, as mere transients in the greater scope of eternity, suppose to be able to force our wants and needs against something so intransigent? It is against our nature to believe that we are incapable of making things happen in our own time. Forcing time to pass is a loser's game.

How then, do we cope with things that change in our lives? I've never been very good at it. Like time, I'm often inflexible, rigid, demanding, pushy. Sometimes you just have to step back and breathe. Our worlds will not end because something changes. And more often than not, accepting the constraints of time rewards us with what we wanted to begin with.

Think back on all of the times in your life you've been thrown a knuckleball ~ wobbling and weaving towards the plate while you awkwardly try and swing at the un-hittable pitch. When your parents moved when you were a kid and you had to change schools. That was the worst feeling in the world.

I remember starting school at Young Junior High in the 7th grade. I specifically remember sitting in the gym for some sort of welcome program, staring at the floor thinking that I would never make it through the year. The change from the small pond of elementary to the larger pond of junior high was terrifying. Now I'm 43 years old and writing about it on my blog. I wasn't even half way done with my education at that point!

When your high school girlfriend started going out with the dumbest stoner in school (if this sounds specific it's because it actually happened to me! ha!). I remember sitting on the curb with my best friend crying outside of a party. I was 16 and thought I'd never love again. God, somehow I made it through that! My first night in boot camp I got up out of my rack and went to the head and looked in the mirror as I ran my hands over my bald dome (who would have guessed??) and cried for my mommy. I just knew I'd never ever make it through the next day. Guess what? I did. Standing in the airport with my best friends before boarding the plane to Camp Pendleton and then on to Saudi Arabia, I wasn't sure I'd ever come back (if you recall that at the time, there was great uncertainty as to whether Iraq would use chemical weapons ~ it was a big concern and our commanders told us to expect that not all of us would return). I was 22 and had just the day before signed my last will and testament. Boarding that plane was just about the loneliest I have ever been. That little Desert Storm adventure was a change, but not as big as I had feared, which taught me an additional lesson: it's not always going to be as bad as you fear it might be.

I've been experiencing some changes in my life recently and I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm saddened. I've been thinking, though. And breathing. And reflecting on all the past changes in my life and how I've lived through them and learned the lessons of my past mistakes. I have resolved to allow time to govern these changes and emerge a better person on the other end. A happier person. A more loving person. A more tolerant person. Yeah, I know. You don't believe a word of it. Why should you? You've been reading my blog for years! My hope is that things turn out the way I want them to, but I have to accept the fact that it may not be that way. I can control me. I can't control the actions of others. Or time.

These are all just words on a page. A true man is not measured by the words that come out of his mouth or the words written on a page. A true man is measured by and through his actions. We can't change our past, but we damn sure have control of our future, within the constraints set forth by Time of course.

My future begins now.

I accept Time absolutely.

Thanks for reading.