A public school teacher was arrested today at John F Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
4 comments:
The only valid comment to this is a loud, protracted groan.
Sorry but you will have to be pun-ished.
Our government always has an angle on every situation. Sometimes they are off a degree here and there. The common denominator in all the reactions reported to us is our probable safety against the infinate threats to our country, exponentially superior to the rest. As long as there is a line of communicaiton the sum of their efforts will appear to be positive, for our greater good.
God bless America
*facepalm*
Post a Comment