How Quickly Things Can Change

As I stated in an earlier post, Tuesday morning started off like many other days before. A text about 8:30am from my mother possibly changed my life forever. You know the story already, so I will spare you the details again. Prior to Tuesday morning, actually three days earlier, I had left W-moms house mad. I was angry at her, angry at my daughter, and just angry about the way life was playing out at the time. I didn't speak to either them for a day, and then only by texts the following few days. Until Tuesday morning. Isn't it strange that we put ourselves in situations like this only to get slapped in the face by reality? It took my best friend, who is like a brother to me, getting hurt and possibly paralyzed for life for me to forget and forgive. Oh Wendell, how small your problems are compared to that of others. I should have forgiven them sooner. I should have just moved on. It was just a small thing, and I shouldn't sweat the small things. But that's not me. I make a mountain out of a mole hill and dwell on it till it rots inside of me to the point of lashing out, raising my voice, and causing more damage. If this week, while standing beside his hospital bed has taught me anything, it's that I need to be more forgiving. In any situation. As I drove like a maniac south towards Houston, this scenario dawned on me. I had called W-mom on Sunday morning and told her I was sorry. My daughter had apologized, but my stubborn ass had not let it go. Until I realized how stupid I was acting. I started crying uncontrollably. Driving 80mph down the highway. I just let it all go. Right then. Things wil be different now. Not only for my cousin, but for all of us. We don't know what the future holds for him, but I know that in my future I will start trying to handle things differently. I have to be more forgiving, not just to my family, but also to others.
This morning I went to Bible class and church. That was my main reason for coming home yesterday. I wanted to stay one more day, and it took everything I had in me to walk out of that hospital room. But I needed to see the smiles on my church members faces. I needed to laugh with them. I needed to hear their reassuring voices, and feel their hugs. Our pastor Monty teaches our class, and he started a new study last week in the book of James. He continued it this morning. As we opened our bibles, iPads and Kindles, he looked at me and smiled. Our lesson this morning was from James chapter 1, starting at verse 2.
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Wow. Aimed. Right. At. My. Heart.
I was there for David this week. I was there for him standing between him and heaven, letting God work through me in the way God knows I could help. God was using me as his communication, his hands, his feet, and his closest friend.
I left church this morning in peace. Believing even more today that whatever Gods plan for David is, that its his plan, not mine. That whatever he holds in store, that I will somehow know the way that he leads me.